How can I deal with the feeling of emptiness after losing my mum?
- Amy Rosso
- Apr 12
- 3 min read
Dealing with the feeling of emptiness after losing your mum can be incredibly difficult, as this void can feel profound and unshakable. The emptiness may arise from the absence of her physical presence, the loss of her guidance, or the significant shift in your life without her.
Here are some ways to navigate through that feeling:
1. Acknowledge and Sit with the Emptiness
Feel what you feel: Instead of trying to push the emptiness away, allow yourself to fully experience it. It's okay to sit with that feeling for a while, knowing that it’s a natural part of the grieving process. The more you resist it, the longer it can last.
Give yourself permission: Understand that it's normal to feel empty and lost. You don’t have to "fix" it immediately or constantly seek ways to fill it. Sometimes just acknowledging the emptiness can make it feel less overwhelming.
2. Honor Your Mother’s Memory
Create meaningful rituals: Light a candle, visit a special place that reminds you of her, or write letters to her. These acts help maintain a connection with her memory and can soothe the emptiness by creating a sense of continued love and presence.
Reflect on the love and lessons she gave you: Talk to your mum in your thoughts or through journaling, reflecting on all she brought into your life. This can help shift the focus from what’s lost to what was once shared.
3. Engage in Activities that Nourish You
Fill the space with things you enjoy: While no activity can replace the presence of your mum, doing things that bring you comfort or joy (like walking in nature, listening to music, or engaging in hobbies) can help alleviate the emptiness, even if temporarily.
Practice self-care: Rest, nourish your body with healthy food, and take care of your emotional needs. Sometimes the emptiness can feel more intense when we're physically or emotionally depleted.
4. Seek Emotional Support
Talk to someone you trust: Share your feelings with a friend, family member, or therapist. Sometimes just expressing the depth of that emptiness can relieve a little of the heaviness.
Join a support group: Connecting with others who are also navigating the loss of their mothers can provide a sense of solidarity and understanding. Knowing you're not alone in this can lessen feelings of isolation.
5. Explore Meaning in Your Grief
Find purpose through your pain: In time, many people find that their grief can lead them to a deeper sense of purpose or meaning. This might involve helping others who are grieving, creating something in your mum’s memory, or reevaluating your life’s direction.
Allow for transformation: Sometimes, grief can lead to personal growth. Though the emptiness may feel unbearable now, many people find that they emerge from loss with greater strength, resilience, and insight.
6. Create New Connections and Patterns
Nurture relationships: While no one can replace your mum, building and deepening other relationships in your life can help ease the emptiness. Leaning on close friends, family, or even a spiritual community can help fill the void.
Start new routines: Even small changes, like creating new traditions or finding a new activity that brings you joy, can help you reframe your life without your mum. This can create new meaning and a sense of belonging.
7. Allow Time for Healing
Be patient with yourself: Healing from the emptiness of grief takes time, and it’s important not to rush yourself. As time goes on, the sharpness of the emptiness may soften, but the love and memory of your mother will always be a part of you.
Grief doesn’t follow a strict timeline: Don’t compare your progress to others or feel pressured to move on too quickly. It’s a personal journey, and you have the right to grieve in your own time.
The emptiness may feel all-consuming now, but over time, with patience, self-compassion, and support, the intensity of that feeling can soften. Your grief will eventually transform, and though the void may never fully go away, you will learn how to carry it with you and find new meaning in life without her.
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