How I Got Through My First Christmas Without Mum
- Amy Rosso
- Mar 9
- 3 min read
Updated: Mar 16
The first Christmas without Mum felt like a season I wasn’t ready for—like walking through a winter storm without a coat. The lights twinkled, carols played, and the world carried on in holiday cheer, yet my heart ached in ways I had never known. If this is your first Christmas without your mum, I want you to know you’re not alone. Grief is heavy, especially during the holidays, but there are ways to move through it with love, remembrance, and self-compassion.
Here’s what helped me, and what may help you too.
1. Let Yourself Feel Everything
Grief doesn’t take a holiday. You don’t have to pretend to be okay or force joy if you’re not feeling it. Let yourself cry, smile at old memories, or even feel numb—however grief shows up for you is okay. The most important thing is giving yourself permission to feel without judgment.
2. Honour Mum in Your Own Way
One of the hardest parts of Christmas was knowing Mum wouldn’t be there to cook our favourite meal, share her warm hugs, or fill the room with her laughter. So, I found small ways to keep her presence alive:
Lighting a candle in her honour.
Making her favourite dish and sharing it with loved ones.
Playing her favourite Christmas song and singing along, just like we used to.
Hanging an ornament that reminds me of her on the tree.
Honouring Mum doesn’t have to be big or elaborate. It’s about keeping her love woven into the season in a way that feels right for you.
3. Create New Traditions (or Skip Old Ones if You Need To)
Some traditions might feel too painful this year—and that’s okay. You don’t have to force yourself to do everything exactly as before. Instead, you can:
Host a low-key holiday gathering rather than a big celebration.
Take a Christmas getaway to create new memories in a different setting.
Start a new tradition that brings comfort, like writing Mum a letter on Christmas Eve.
Give yourself permission to make the day whatever you need it to be.
4. Lean on Your Support System
Grief can feel isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Surround yourself with people who understand—whether it’s family, friends, or a community of motherless daughters who truly get it. Reach out when you need to talk, and don’t be afraid to ask for support.
5. Find a Moment of Peace for Yourself
The holiday rush can be overwhelming, and grief can be exhausting. Carve out time just for you. Take a quiet walk, journal your feelings, sip a warm drink in silence, or listen to a guided meditation. Give yourself a gentle pause amidst the emotions.
6. Remember: Mum’s Love Still Exists
Even though she’s not physically here, your mum’s love didn’t disappear. It lives on in you—in the way you laugh, the kindness you show, and the warmth you bring to others. Every time you speak her name, share a memory, or feel her presence in a quiet moment, know that her love is still with you.
A Gentle Reminder
Your first Christmas without Mum will be different, and it’s okay if it doesn’t feel magical or joyful. But you will get through it, one moment at a time. Give yourself grace, honour her in ways that bring comfort, and know that you are deeply loved—even through the hardest days.
If this Christmas feels heavy, know that I’m holding space for you. You are not alone.
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